2008 Woodie Awards
Epicurean ecstasies at Dunkin' Donuts
Dave Min
Issue date: 10/4/01 Section: Etc.
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Porter Square has the finest dining around, and its most renowned establishments are McDonald's Restaurant (no relation to People's 37th most eligible bachelor, Shawn McDonald) and Dunkin' Donuts. My opponent in this debate, the esteemed "Colonel" Parker, with his typical rustic ignorance of good taste, claims that the best restaurant in Cambridge is Chez McDonald's. He is wrong.
McDonald's, located at 5 White Street in the Porter Square Mall, is the fecund remainder of a once proud dine-asty that regularly boasted such luminaries as Grimace and the Hamburglar among its patrons. But this gastronomic Camelot is in ruins, and the current McDonald's caters primarily to tourists and half-wits.
Its sterile and drab décor is an offensively inadequate attempt at emulating the feel of a classic American diner, and its over-bright lighting and lack of intimacy are excruciating. This is definitely NOT a place to take a date, as evidenced by the clientele, a dour menagerie of single men ranging in age from 17 to 71.
The food, unfortunately, matches the interior design. Given their single-minded devotion to that most American of foods, the hamburger, one might assume the chefs would have mastery over this domain. This assumption would be gravely wrong. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese ($4), like the winter Versace collection, is a destructive assault on the senses, and a far cry from the delightful Royale with Cheese that I lunched on in the porn district of Paris.
McDonald's offers some Prix Fixe options, with chicken or beef accompanied by Pommes Frites, ranging in price from $3 (€4) to $5 (€7), as well as a small assortment of appetizers and desserts. But perhaps your best option here is to eat the cardboard box which packages your food: It has more flavor and is certainly a more memorable dining experience. In the words of my Jewish twin, Mike Naft, "McDonald's is like Jackson Heights' own Randy Watson and his band Sexual Chocolate: 'good and terrible.'"
McDonald's, located at 5 White Street in the Porter Square Mall, is the fecund remainder of a once proud dine-asty that regularly boasted such luminaries as Grimace and the Hamburglar among its patrons. But this gastronomic Camelot is in ruins, and the current McDonald's caters primarily to tourists and half-wits.
Its sterile and drab décor is an offensively inadequate attempt at emulating the feel of a classic American diner, and its over-bright lighting and lack of intimacy are excruciating. This is definitely NOT a place to take a date, as evidenced by the clientele, a dour menagerie of single men ranging in age from 17 to 71.
The food, unfortunately, matches the interior design. Given their single-minded devotion to that most American of foods, the hamburger, one might assume the chefs would have mastery over this domain. This assumption would be gravely wrong. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese ($4), like the winter Versace collection, is a destructive assault on the senses, and a far cry from the delightful Royale with Cheese that I lunched on in the porn district of Paris.
McDonald's offers some Prix Fixe options, with chicken or beef accompanied by Pommes Frites, ranging in price from $3 (€4) to $5 (€7), as well as a small assortment of appetizers and desserts. But perhaps your best option here is to eat the cardboard box which packages your food: It has more flavor and is certainly a more memorable dining experience. In the words of my Jewish twin, Mike Naft, "McDonald's is like Jackson Heights' own Randy Watson and his band Sexual Chocolate: 'good and terrible.'"